To fill out this application simply copy it, fill in the blanks (answer the questions),make 5 copies then do the following:
Send one to your local congressman.
One to your local convenience store.
Hide one under your house.
Place one in a safe place, and e-mail the last one to LSDiscordia@hotmail.com
1.) General information
Todays date:__________ Yesterdays date:__________ Date of birth:__________ Name(first, middle, last)___________________________ Age:_____
Nick name or chosen holy name________________________
Mailing address:_______________________, City_______________, State_____,
Zip code__________. E-mail address:_______________________.
Highest grade completed (please circle only one) 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6
List every job since 1984 from which you have been fired.
List all major psychotic epsiodes experienced in the last twenty-three hours.
Are you a citizen of the United States:__Y,__N,__?
Have you ever been convicted of the crime of murder, rape, bribery, theft, arson, obtaining money or goods under false pretenses, perjury, forgery, embezzlement, or bigamy:__Y,__N. If so, what state:_____, county__________, nature of conviction(s):_______________________________________________.
2.) Physical information
Sex:__M,__F,__other. Race:__horse,__human,__other. Eyes:__2__other.
Left eye color:__________, right eye color:__________, third eye color:__________.
Hight:_____. Weight:_____fl.oz. Hair color:______. If hair color changes periodically, how often?___________. Hair length:_____. Last time you had a haircut:__________, reason:_______________________. Astrological sign:__________. Identifying birthmark, and/or tattoos:_______________________.
3.) Sneaky questions, to establish character traits and uncabbageness.
I would rather a) Live in an outhouse. b) Play in a rock band. 3) Eat caterpillars._____.
I wear obscne tattoos because:_______________________.
Describe yourself according to the following:
a) Religious/philosophical beliefs? b) What are your favorite flims/movies?
c) What is your favorite book, subject to read and authors? d) Sexual practices?
5) What slogans, sayings, quotes are you fond of? f) What is your favorite food (type and meal), and beverage (alcoholic and non-alcoholic)
n) If you could travel back in time for half an hour, and never the same time twice and in half an hour you will immediately return to the present. Were would you go, and what would you do?
4.) Intelligence quiz, to determine weather you are stupid or not.....duh.
Which of the following is the name of the goddess: a) Jehova. b) Elohim. c) Minny Mouse.d) Charlton Heston.
5) Chelsie Clinton. 23) ERIS._____
The sound of one hand clapping is: a) Very quiet. b) similar to smiling with one lip. c) A Zen record shop.
d) Like the "p" in swimming. 5) All of the above._____
You arrive at a party and your host says, "Far out, I want to take the responsibility for creating space in your universe so you can experience your experience." He means: a) Have a good time. b) Don't eat the Sweedish meatballs. c) I just completed est training. d) Nothing anyone would understand._____
If someone were to approach you and ask, "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" the correct way to answer would be: a)"Yes". b) "No". c) "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?"._____
23 is the great mystical number of all discordians because: a) 2+3=5. b) It looks cool._____
c) It is the 5th wonder of the world. d) I don't know. 5) I don't care._____.
If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them: a) It wouldn't be nice. b) They taste bad. c)Cannibalism is against the law. d) If we ate all our brothers there wouldn't be anyone to call our brothers._____
5.) The end, like it wouldn't happen.
On your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at precisely midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation count all visible stars.
When you have done this, e-mail me and I'll tell you what to do next.
I do hereby consent that nothing is true, everything is fact. So, therefore before the Goddess I do swear that the information above is as true to the best of my knowledge. I am also aware that by signing this document that I may not only not be understood, but may be taunted by a cabbage.